i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She's the barista slut.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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