oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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