I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
