I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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