dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
