We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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