I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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