I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
