Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
