i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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