I just made out with a guy for $7.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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