He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
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We don't watch enough power rangers
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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