Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
