a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
