She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
