OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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