they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
