I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
And then he peed in my hair
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