Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
