I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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