Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
