I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
