Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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