Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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