So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i love accidental penises.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize