yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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