3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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