I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
