I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
