Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
