whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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