Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
