I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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