I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
