somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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