I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
