my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
