I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
