I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So many bounce houses so little time
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
