It's just like the Real World with babies
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
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The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
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ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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