Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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