that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
