i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
he just fucked me for my cheese..
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
