so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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