By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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