Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
