She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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