Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
