return my video game
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
