There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
