So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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