We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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