The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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