It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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