He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize