have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Randomize
