woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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