He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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